You Got eMail

Honestly, I miss letters. A letter delivered by a postman, with its lines of handwriting, loops and angles that give a reflection of personality and, perhaps, secrets tucked inside the letters. Waiting for the postman to find a letter is old fashioned but many cherish still. Then opening letters, reading, and reading them again. There is a romance in writing and receiving letters that seems almost entirely lost to people particularly those who inhabit the cyberspace in this information era.

The switch to email and instant messaging has created an entirely new kind of language - of shorthand, emoticons (term coined by joining two words emotions and icons), graphics, and poor or nonexistent grammar, and missing punctuation, computer slang. It has also given birth to another kind of romance: cyberspace romance. This is about that.

Emails, instant messaging and text messaging (through cell phones) are quick and easy. Even person like me writes more of shorthand letters now than I ever did on paper. Granted, that they have increased contact with family, friends and colleagues than ever before. They provide eases and convenience. What would any day be like without a message window popping up mid-afternoon with a little emoticon sent by a dear and near one? Indeed, online communication is doing wonders for human relationship. A little goes a long way.

With rather longer prelude, the idea of cyberspace romance is undeniably relevant to today, and it is intriguing. Information communication technologies provide an anonymity that allows people to reveal more than they ever would face to face. It also allows temptation to overcome good sense, and the results sometime can be overwhelming. Imagine two persons who came across each other after anyone of them seeing online profile of the other and finding it "interesting" makes an endeavor and reaches out to the other online. Both are easily drawn to each other in online exchange of messages, too predictably, and without enough explanation as to why. The whole exchange takes in "real time". And before too long, the causal exchange turns into witty flirtation and may be into full-blown romance between those who have yet not met face to face. Clever combinations of e-mails, live chat lines, explicit emoticons and computer shortcuts, give way to the situation where 'the headstrong-girl-meets-self-sufficient-boy' and the urge to meet may becomes very strong.

Early in the relationship, the emails exchanged are just straight text, but as time moves on, the parties begin to use emoticons to help express their feelings or tone of voice. It is through this that they begin to see something deeper than just an online friendship starting to evolve.

One reads so many such romance stories from around the globe that happen in a cyber perspective. Besides more connected countries, incidents have happened and brought to the public even in low-tech environment like our as well.

Information and communication technologies play a big role in all of our lives today. People have had their attention span shortened by the intense contact we have with computers. Common niches for cyber romance include personal home pages, glut of social networking sites, blogs, email and even myriad of other accounts and registries on the World Wide Web. Most of these sites hoist their users' information for free whereas there are some premium places where users actually pay for showcasing themselves in search of romance and love. Then there are online activities where users leave behind bits and pieces of information. Combinations of these isolated pieces of personal information make quite a biographical sketch that forms a strong online identity, sometime the users may not be aware of. Not to mention information left while engaged in activities like credit cards, online shopping practices, health and social securities because they are not yet common in this part of the world.

So what is the point? The point here is that digital identity can be duplicated perfectly and easily. In addition, Internet world makes it easy for users to present themselves in as many different forms asthey want to; even gender swapping. Internet has made it possible for any one to stay anonymous and still reach out to a vast audience the world over. Details users provide (or do not provide) are entirely up to them. With so many easy options to stay on the Internet and do things anonymously, assuming any desired identity is quite common. Theoretically, this is not much different from classical literary nom de plume or anonymous, which publishing on printing press allowed. Only it has been relatively difficult to remain anonymous for long in real world, it is much easier online. Hence, it has become a standard option of communication on the Internet. I do not subscribe to the idea but some call this aspect as a freedom to be whatever you want to be. Celebrated writers like Mary Zetlin in her book "Life on the Screen: Identity in the Age of the Internet" emphasizes, "Perhaps one of the most secure things about the Internet in this day and age is that on the Internet, you are anonymous."

Arguably, the social barriers of only a decade ago are down. Measured against the way things once were, this might certainly be called progress – moving and growing with time. But measured against the conventional folkways and accepted and cherished social norms, this is a deviation from our values. I am very aware that, for the moment, this is true mostly of small segment of our society that has access to the computers and the Internet (very few has), but the Internet users' base is exponentially growing, making it easy to dismiss such societal changes as exceptions.

Call me old fashioned or predictive. Do you see a major shift in the coming times? Sociologists say, "Yes."